KINGSLEY SPOILS TWILIGHT

Because of how hectic and dumb my life has been this week, I have NOT FUCKING SEEN BREAKING DAWN YET. But I'm gonna make the best of it. I have my tickets for a Monday show (that way, all the crazy little bitches are back in school and I can view it in peace with my entourage aka me and whoever I drag along).
That leaves me 3 days of torture and waiting to see what happens to Bella and Edward and Jacob and the rest of those bitches.
So what am I gonna do? Re-watch all the fucking Twilight movies because I haven't seen them in forever.
And you know what else I'm gonna do? Fucking review them.
Then it'll be Monday and you know what I'm gonna do? Fucking watch Breaking Dawn and fucking review it.
But these aren't just any fucking reviews. These are my reviews. I'm gonna tell you every fucking thing that happens in the fucking movie. In under seven minutes.
Friday, November 25th - KINGSLEY SPOILS TWILIGHT
Saturday, November 26th - KINGSLEY SPOILS NEW MOON
Sunday, November 27th - KINGSLEY SPOILS ECLIPSE
Monday, November 28th - KINGSLEY SPOILS BREAKING DAWN PART 1
This is a preview of "Kingsley Spoils" - which will continue in 2012 as I see new releases every week - reviewing films in the blunt and vulgar way that only Kingsley can do. This "series" will join "Ask Kingsley" and "Overexposed" to make up much of my content in the next year.
Then.... it's... HATLESS WEEK.
From November 29th until December 5th - I will be vlogging in a way you have NEVAH EVAH SEEN ME VLOG BEFORE. I'll be out and about, answering questions I've been asked in a serious manner and letting you see the boy behind the ranting bitch.
FINALLY...
After getting to know my boring ass for a week, THE HAT COMES BACK. On December 6th, like last year, I will make a video announcing the nominees for Overexposed 2011 and you guys shall vote. Overexposed 2011 will take place from December 13th until the day before Christmas (December 24th, if you're retarded).
Are you ready bitches? I think you are.