Half-Assed Theatre: "Road Rash (Sega Genesis)"

As some of you may know, I've been dying to get this series back on the ground for a while.
Well, I did. I've been working on this "thing" for a few days now. One change from the old HaT's though: I decided to *gulp* script it.
Now, not only will you get unbelievable half-assery, but it's now CORPORATE half-assery. What a country, ain't it
Yes, I know YouTube's not a country. Leave me alone.
As for the video, if you don't lose at least ten IQ points after watching it, then you should be considered as a god amongst men.